Ellie Goulding is amazing :)

I am so very lonely. It is suffocating.

But it was not your fault but mine And it was your heart on the line

I am currently watching the 2011 Grammys and Lady Gaga just won Best Pop Album of the year. I am actually upset that Katy Perry didn't won. Well not upset, but I really wish she has won. I think she deserved it.

Mumford&Sons is performing right now. I love them! Little Lion Man, what a fabulous song!

Tomorrow is Valentine's day. I'm so indifferent. I want to be in a relatonship, but not because of Valentines Day. I just want to be with someone, actually I just want to have someone I can actually talk to. meh! one day.

My teenage dreams are getting pretty outlandish :)

Tonight is Super Bowl night, I went to pick up apple pies for Robert and pizza for us. At McDonald's, the guy at the drive thru was cute, not drop dead gorgeous, but my time. He was all smiles and his teeth were perfect. I kept messing up with the money because I was looking at him instead of at my purse. And when I started driving to the second pull up window, I honestly got so frightened because I was not paying attention to driving at all. I didn't know what gear I was in or what.
Anyway, I went off on my merry way after we shared many smiles and some giggles. I was so pissed at myself, I was like I should have said something; asked for his number, told him he's beautiful.
I drove to the stop light on leland and south and it was red. I sat there thinking about what I should do. I remembered that I believed in no regrets and turned into the Burger King parking lot when the light turned green. I sat there and thought, I decided this was stupid and decided to go home. I turned back around into the Burger King parking lot, sat there and decided that this was the moment. This was an opportunity, so I went and drove to McDonald's. I sat in the parking lot of McDonald's for like thirty seconds, decided on what I was going to say, "Hi. I was wondering if I could have your number and if you would like to hang out some time?". I drove to the money window, but no one was there. I drove to the food window and he was there with his two coworkers, I decided to drive off.
As I drove home, I decided that this isn't a moment in my life to regret, but a learning opportunity. The next time, this situation happens to me, I will know to take a chance and just ask. The worst that can happen is he says no. And I go about my day. The best that can happen is he says yes and I feel amazing and have a date for Valentine's day. Now, I know what to do for the future. And who knows, maybe the opportunity will come along again before V Day and I'll feel like a princess on Valentine's day.,

Rawr! It angers me how much I want to be with someone for Valentine's day. Or at least just have someone that will make me feel fabulous. blegh!

I decided on the kind of guy I want to marry or at least go out with in college(obviously this is all subject to change, you(future Christina) and I both know how easily I change my mind). I want a guy who is into sports and is on a team in college; he spends a lot of time at practice and I go to all of his games. And he holds my hand when he introduces me to his friends because he can tell I'm nervous. I want him to come to all of my poetry readings and open mic nights and support me in the same way I support him. I want him to want to come to my readings and me to not force him too. I would love for him to understand and love my work, but really just knowing that he believes in me and supports what I do seems like enough. I want us to sit in one of our dorm rooms and just study together, not talking, but just getting our ish done... together. I want to throw up at how lame I am, not really. But I am making myself sad. I seriously hope I get this in life. I hope college is the most spectacular experience of my life, not really. I hope my life just continues to amaze me and that I keep enjoy living it.

Watching Chelsea Latey :)

I haven't gotten into college yet. blegh. I feel stupid. I just want to get in somewhere. blegh blegh blegh.

I want to be famous, not now, but when I'm older. It'd be fun.

It's a beautiful night We're looking for something dumb to do

I am embarrassed by how much I like Bruno Mars. Like, I have a legit crush on him. I'm facebook stalking him, that's how legit this crush is. except I'm actually wikipedia-ing him. I actually want to become famous or do something to have the chance to meet him, but when I'm like someone that he could be in a relationship with and not a senior in high school.
But seriously. Bruno Mars, how does a person even come up with a name like that (a question I now know the answer to thanks to Wikipedia)? Before I read the article though, I just thought about his name and it's crazy. It's so creative. I want to be famous so badly. I read something the other day, I don't remember where, 'don't wish you were someone else/it's a waste of who you are', which is a good thing to remember. I'm not wishing I was someone else, but I hope to be more than who I am.
I have just come to the conclusion of how to put what I want into words, I want to have the world at my fingertips. I am like near tears, just thinking about this. I want to wake up in the mornings and know that I will spend the day doing what I love and my days will be great. I don't want the grind of a normal work day. I just want to be free to live and be free. I sound like such a free spirit, which I don't think I really am, (future Christina - have you become a free spirit?) I just want to be free from worries, like I am now. I want to be this way forever. Full of love and free of cares.

Bruno Mars voice is amazing. Absolutely amazing. I want to cry.

I wish writing songs was my forte. I really need to start working on my writing more. I guess this second semester of creative writing, I need to actually write.

I can not even blame any of the above on my period. I got off mine like 3 days ago. I am just this freaking emotional. I love loving life.

I said remember this moment (in the back of my mind)

Sometimes life seems incredibly simple; get up, go to work, come home. eat, shower, sleep. And that is so scary, how your life is nothing but a formula, a simple one at that. But then you lay down at night and think about your day and it was either a good day or a bad day. Those things that change the mood of our days, that is life.

I really did/do have the time of my life fighting dragons with Megan.

Lately, when I say my prayers at night, I have been thanking God for having such a good day. And I really can't remember the bad parts of my day. It's like they all fade away and I just remember laughing or listening to a really awesome song, which is what life is all about. I like not living negatively and finding good in my days.

It's just crazy. Life is crazy. It's so simple and not at the same time. I love life. I love living.

Cookie Monster!

Zach just left. He got here at 3:10. All we did is laugh for 3 hours. He's so fucking funny. He came over to do Astronomy, which we only started like 40 minutes ago, but that was a major fail. We watched Despicable Me, which he had never seen. Ridiculous!
Hahahah. And we listened to Bob Marley while we did our homework.
He said, "we should hang out and watch a movie like every other day". It was precious. And then when he was getting ready to go, he was like, "okay, what movie are we watching next time?" too cute. I really can't read him though. I was laughing real hard and I leaned on his shoulder and he didn't tense up, which means he doesn't hate me, but I kinda already knew that. He didn't make any voluntary movements towards me though. blegh! whatever, if Zach and I were best friends, that would be so fucking fun. :)

...so, I guess I like the boy. oy vey!